I have a body focused repetitive behaviour, linked to OCD called trichotillomania which means I have a tendency to pull out my hair. I actually didn’t even realize I had it until I saw an article in the paper about someone else who was dealing with it. I suddenly realized, that thing I was doing was a ‘condition’.
I find that any time i’m mindlessly inside, or feeling stressed or anxious I subconsciously start pulling out my hair. It can get really destructive and painful, but i’ve been lucky to both find a support group in town of others who suffer from this, as well as having an amazingly supportive partner and family that I was able to confide in. They are able to help me realize i’m doing it when I might not even notice it myself. I’ve also taken to wearing hats any time I can, as I find having that physical barrier there, prevents me from doing the behaviour.
Slowly, i’m starting to learn to accept myself without judgement. I’m trying to reframe my thoughts of “this is bad, I shouldn’t do this” to “this is the space i’m in, and that’s ok.”
I want to get better at advocating for myself and others that I know are struggling with mental health issues. I work with kids, and seeing them struggle makes me realize how much we need the stigmas to go away. Mental Health shouldn’t be secret, backroom talk.
I’m learning to accept myself without judgement.