My childhood consisted of a lot of fear and attachment issues with the adults in my life. Because of my family background, we also lived in a culture where we didn’t speak out about feelings and emotions as that would bring shame to our family.
This resulted in me growing up learning to really withdraw from the world, and develop a fear of really opening my heart up to others.
I’ve also struggled at times with severe anxiety, panic and even agoraphobia due to a lack of feeling safe. And more recently i’ve been struggling with depression and that deep darkness that takes over. I was at a point where the sunrise would actually produce full body fear in me…that fear of waking up and having to face the world was crippling.
I’m very lucky to have found an incredible partner who is so understanding. I realized one day that it was actually easier for me to come out as a lesbian when I was 41 years old than it was for me to openly talk about my mental health issues. That’s exactly why i’m wanting to speak out now. Being a lesbian is completely normalized and just part of who I am, and I want that to be the same for mental health issues; to remove the stigma
There are too many people struggling, and our current system is one of reacting vs. building capacity and resiliency. I want to be part of changing that.
It was easier for me to come out as a lesbian than it was for me to talk openly about having a mental health issue.