Sleep

I wanted to share my story so that people know they’re not alone in this. I’ve experienced social anxiety, but in the past year anxiety, generally, has really started to take over and negatively affect my life. 

All of the sudden I couldn’t bring myself to eat, I wasn’t sleeping. Depression snuck in. I didn't recognize it for what it was, but it was prevalent. I would have anxiety attacks where I couldn’t even form a sentence to tell my partner what was happening…there were no words that would come to my mouth. 

It’s at it’s worst on Sundays when I know i’m having to go back to work, and I love my job. I’ve tried meditation and breathing exercises, but I just can’t get through them. I’ve self medicated with wine or marijuana, which helps shut off my brain sometimes, but other times it just makes it worse.

At my worst times, even just feeding myself properly is overwhelming. I can’t get to the grocery store, I can’t meal plan or cook. I have no energy. With everything I try it feels like I just can’t quite get there… It’s like when the depression hits, you can see the light, but you just can’t quite reach it.

I don’t know my triggers yet…this is all still so new to me. I just wish I could get some sleep…if I could just rest my body and my brain, maybe I would feel better.